The past is there for a reason

Funny statement to make but it is all too valid, the reality is that without the past we cannot develop or grow. Today has been a funny kind of day really. With the onset of the nice weather the shed beckoned to be sorted out and as much as I didn’t really want to do it I needed to so that is what I did.  We moved in our house about 7 years ago and when we moved in there was some stuff that still needed sorting, as it always does, that was never sorted and it ended up in the shed. This was the day when it was going to be sorted out once and for all as I needed the space back that was being occupied by this stuff that had not been looked at in over 7 years. The first job was to empty all of the day to day stuff, such as the kids bikes, scooters, mowers, tools etc until I got to the old boxes that were hiding at the back. I knew, for the most part, that almost all of it would end up in the bin as I was working on the basis that I had not looked at it in about 7 years but I needed to go through anyway just to be sure. What I didn’t expect to find in the shed was “regret”.

As I was sorting through all of the old stuff I found some letters, and at first I thought they were from an “ex” so thought I had better make a hasty disposal. However, I checked them first and that was not the case. When I was about 13 years old I joined a cycling club as I loved cycling, something which I was good at and won a number of trophies for. When I joined most of the people there were “old”, at 13 everyone over 22 was considered old. But there were some younger people there, older than me but only by a couple of years which meant that I was at least able to relate to them as I had always tended to hang out with people a little older than me. There was a couple of lads and a girl, Ali, but they all welcomed me in which for a young and timid lad was great.  Over the next couple of years we all became good friends with regular “club runs” at a weekend taking us cycling into the Derbyshire Dales as well as cycling weekends which took us as far as Ladybower Reservoir. Now at that age it was like travelling to the other end of the planet. As you can imagine we all became kindred spirits as we became a group within a group because of the age gap. We all drifted away from cycling in the end as we got older, this would be around 1991 as I started working on the nights that the club met. However, I never lost touch with Ali, as she was that little older than me she went on to college in Lincoln at Riseholm Hall studying ‘arboriculture’ which is Tree Surgery. I went up to see her there a couple of times which was great as a young kid like me, only 16 at the time, never really got out that much. She then moved on from there and got a job in a youth hostel up in Yorkshire and again I went to visit this time on the motorbike I had at the time, again a long trip for me at the time though now I wouldn’t think twice. Not too long after this she went off to University in Aberdeen as this was one of a few uni’s that ran the course she wanted to study. This is where the past catches the present as what I found in the shed was the letters that she used to send to me when she was there. Now just to clarify; we were just friends and I mean really good friends which makes it all the more disappointing that I had not really thought about this properly until today. It was the kind of friendship that normally does not exist between a boy and girl without some kind of sexual tension but it just wasn’t the case as we were great friends. I did once ask her out but she said no as we were such great friends that it would be wrong, at the time I struggled to understand but now I see it with such clarity.

So what’s the point of this I hear you thinking? Well the point is that after she went up to Aberdeen Uni we just drifted apart and despite letters passing I could have tried harder to keep contact with her, my friend, but as a 19 year old I was busy working and not seeing what was really important in life.

Now we have regret, something which I do not really partake in as it is a flawed emotion, as far as I’m concerned, due to the fact that things cannot change just because you realise that you f***ed up. But on this occasion I do regret not doing more and I wonder what happened to her. Whether she completed the arboriculture course which would have qualified her to cut back trees that were overhanging busy roads. Whether she got married, had kids or all the other things that we do when we “grow” up. So how do you deal with regret? What is the value of such a flawed emotion in the modern world if nothing can be achieved as the past is the past? Well the first thing that you can get from it is to learn. When I say learn I mean you learn from the mistakes you made, and lets face it they are mistakes that’s why you feel regret. You make damn sure that it doesn’t happen again. The second thing that you can do is to try and put things right, if possible. What I mean by this is that in my case I can try to track down Ali, I don’t know how yet but I will try, as I said before this is not some “old flame” but a true friend and for that reason I owe it to myself, and to her, to try and see if there is some way to reach out and just say “hi, how’s it going? has life been kind…”. There are no perfect people in this world only perfect intensions, I am certainly not perfect but I am always looking for ways to get a little closer even if I know I’ll never get there I can still try.

So the thought of the day is to embrace all emotions as they all hold some benefit to your life even if it is not always clear some part of you can develop because of it. For now though I will try to find my old friend just so I can say “Hi”.

- Rob

Pay it forward

You may remember a film called Pay it forward in which a young boy was given an assignment by his teacher to think of something that would change the world and put it into action.  The boy came up with the idea to “pay it forward”, the idea was simple in that he would do a good deeds to three people on the proviso that they would “pay it forward” to three other people and so on.  The films tracks back from a reporter who was a benefactor of one of these good deeds back to the child that created it.

This film, while I only half watched it first time round, has left a very lasting memory for myself.  The reason for this is that the concept is so simple, so powerful and more importantly it is completely against what seems to have become normal behaviour in society today.  There are still a massive majority of businesses and individuals that will not do anything unless they know what’s in it for them, they only give to receive.  A couple of weeks ago I had a call at the office from a guy that was looking for a job.  He told me that he had been made redundant from his current job and was looking for work.  He asked if we had any positions, I explained that there was nothing at present but I asked him to send his CV through and I would forward it on to some of the other IT partners that I work with.  I said thank you for doing it and almost off the cuff said “if only other companies were so helpful” then hung up.  The amount of gratitude from this guy was enough, there was no promises made as I didn’t know what others had to offer and in reality there really was much effort (2 minutes) involved in forwarding this to some of our partners.  It was just a very simple act that absolutely any one of the companies he had spoke to previously could have done without any real effort but it was clear that none had.

So do something special today, tomorrow, everyday or whenever the opportunity comes available.  Do something for somebody without asking “what’s in it for me” or expecting something in return.

If you have any thoughts then I’d love to hear them.

- Rob

Just plain insane

This was the scene in Nottingham today.  Not too bad considering how bad the weather gets in other countries but as true Brits we were totally ill-equipped to cope with the snow.  Still it was fun and apparently there’s more snow on the way, lets hope so then the media can blame the recession on Snow!!!!

What drives you?

Drive and motivation typically go hand in hand but it’s something that typically does not come naturally.  I love running, in fact the only thing that I love more than running is cycling, but with the hectic lifestyles that we lead today it is difficult to find the time to do these kind of activities especially when you have a young family.  One of the reasons that I love these sports is just the sheer love of the outdoors and the fact it is just a little time where I don’t have to think, just simple primal instinct.  The other reason is that it keeps me fit & healthy which ultimately is better for me.  In order to fit this in though 3 mornings a week I get up at 6.15am and I’m out on the road by 6.30am.  On Thursday I got up as usual and on this night we had carers staying over to look after our little boy (see www.potter-tate.co.uk for more on Danny), when one of them said “I wish I had the dedication to get up at this time and exercise, perhaps you can give me a little of your dedication”.  This got me thinking why do I got up at this un-godly hour and run in the cold, rain snow or whatever the weather brings.  If fact most of my friends think I am insane for doing it but I still get up and I still run.  Don’t get me wrong it’s hard, it’s tiring and sometimes I just feel like stopping and walking back home but I never do.  So why do I do it?

There’s no simple answer I’m afraid, but what I can tell you is that the need to run/cycle is NOT enough.  I want to stay healthy and more important I started about a year ago to struggle, and I mean really struggle to get into my clothes.  This bothered me a lot, I mean I am about 5′ 8″ and was weighing in at just a touch under 14 stone (196 pounds) which was just TOO much.  I thought of dieting but to be honest I love food, all sorts of food and the I couldn’t handle the concept of limiting it through traditional diets.  What I did know was I need to loose it. So I decided that the way to do it was to exercise so I started the Couch to 5K runner plan which too you from nothing to 3 miles in just 9 weeks and it was great.  By summer I was running 3 miles regular in about 30 mins but then I got pains in my legs which too me out so I started back on the bike.  I was cycling 14 miles a session 5 days a week which took about 45 minutes to do and I loved it.  Sadly the bike broke in late November last year so I am back running again which is great.  Throughout all of this, the thing that got me out of bed each morning was the fact that I wanted to be fit & healthy for myself and for my kids.

Now, your probably wondering why the life story?  Well the thing is most articles that guide you in goal setting they don’t usually help with real world examples so hopefully my experience will you.  The thing with goal setting is that you can meet the stages short-term but if you want to continue on day-by-day then you have to have a long-term goal that these little steps go toward.

I don’t have the answers to real goal setting, but I know what worked for me and maybe this can help you.  Any question then please feel free to drop me a line.

There’s mad and there is just plain insane

I picked this link up the other day and all I can say is WOW. These guys must be completely off their heads doing this but take a look for yourself and let me know what you think.

http://tinyurl.com/9cj5el

Just for the record I would LOVE to do this…..

Reinventing me

Intriguing title maybe but what am I talking about.  As we go through life we become who we are by the people we meet, the surroundings we live in, our role models that we adopt as well as many other things but does this make a better you?  In short maybe but then maybe not.  Personal development is all about looking at those that surround us and looking what, if any, traits can I adopt which will make me a better person.  It is also about looking at who we are now and seeing if what we have become is all that we want to be or if there are some things which you don’t like that you can change.

In my current journey I am looking at who I am now and seeing what things need to be changed to get me to the person that I want to be and in some respects the person that I was.  The last few years have taken their toll on me which, some of you may have read before, has been a very trying time with building what was basically a new business as well as our newly born son being very sick in hospital.  This time allowed certain aspects of me to develop for the worse, something which I am not proud of but I do seek to change.  These characteristics are something that I know I’m doing but are consciously allowing to continue so these are things that I am trying to tackle.  Why be so honest and open about this? Well in short because I am not perfect nor would I ever claim to be.  What I do claim is to try and do better each day, one small step at a time.  So what can you do to be better each day:

• Look at the things that you do each day and think to yourself, “Would you be happy to be on the receiving end?”
• Do you think that you are achieving the best out of your day.
• Could you be a better person

Once you have answered these questions then it’s a good place to start and from here you can build an idea of what you need to change and how you’ll change it.  Do I have the answers? No just some questions that you can ask yourself and just maybe what I am figuring out can help you too.

Service with a smile

I believe that the current economic climate helps us all to appreciate that we need to nurture the client base we have much more than we have previously.  As businesses start to hunker down to weather the oncoming storm they need to know that their trusted advisors, whether this be IT or other services, are there to huddle up to them to help weather the storm.  Part of the process is to interact with our clients on a much more proactive way than previously, getting involved in there business and seeing where you can help them to save money.  Sadly some people just are not getting it.

Here is an example of how NOT to perform customer service:

We recently had to make a claim on our insurance due to a leak in our central heating system, this resulted in a number of our carpets being ruined.  While that other areas are still being sorted the carpets have been ordered and I was contacted by Carpet Right over at Derby yesterday to inform me that they were in and to sort out fitting.  The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello can I help?

Man: Hi this is Carpet Right at Derby we’ve got your carpet in, can we sort out fitting it?

Me: Yeah that’d be great, but I am just with someone now would it be possible to give me a call back this afternoon to arrange a time?

Man: What me call you?

Me: Errr yes please.

Man: Errr Ok I guess I will if I remember

Me: Oh..O K … thanks

I have done a course in customer service in that past and while I do not profess to be an idol to look up to on this subject I know what is poor customer service and clearly this man should not be in any job which requires him interacting with a paying customer.  Needless to say that when I do want carpets in the future, which I am paying for myself, I will NOT be going to see this company and as we are always taught “If someone has a good experience with your company they may tell 1-2 people, if they have a bad experience they will tell 20+”.  Guess which category I fall into!  Oh and just for the record, he never rang back so clearly he didn’t remember.

Ironic is the only word for it!

I wrote yesterday about doing something you normally do but different.  Well yesterday, as you may recall, I decided to walk to the shop which was very liberating however today I am regretting it.  For the last couple of months the car has been a little slow starting, you know how it is when you turn the key and there’s the slow churn as the engine struggles to turn before it starts.  Today we all got in the car to head off to pantomime in Nottingham, the kids were looking forward to Cinderella, only to find when I started the car it briefly began running only to stutter and die.  Now at that point I thought things we’re going to be difficult but little did I know; it was 12:30 and it started at 14:00 with 30 minutes of travelling.  After attempting to restart the engine numerous times the battery eventually gave in and said “no more”.  During all of the this our neighbor, who messes with cars a lot, saw what was going off and offered a jump start needless to say I snapped his hand off.  Sadly, 40 minutes later we were no closer to getting the car started so we decided the best thing was going to be to call the RAC to sort it.  Some 1hr 20mins later the nice chap arrived and within 10 mins he’d got it all running again.  Said that there was two possible reasons why it had happened, either the “leak back” pipes which were cheap to replace (£1-£2 + Labour) were letting air in the fuel or the “Injector Seals” which are more expensive (approx £200 + Labour) which would also be letting air in.  He also noted that our model was the one with the known fuel pump issue which happens between 80K – 150K miles and costs about £2,000 to repair, more good news!  But for now the car is running again, charging to be precise, and we’ll be going to see Jule’s friend in a little while before she goes off to Australia tomorrow for about 8 months.

As for the Pantomime that was well and truly missed, £70 down the drain but we’ll see if they can sort something at the box office (doubtful but you can hope).  As for me; Would I still have walked to the shop? Too right, in hindsight I just would have took the car out for a run as well yesterday to “keep it going”, ah well C’est la vie.

Stop the world, I want to get off

Like most people I spend almost every working day racing around seeing people, speaking with them on the phone, rushing home at night to see the wife and kids.  This I have done for many years so much so that it has become the normal speed of things and I am always in a rush.  More recently though I have started to look at things a little more deeply and found that I don’t like all the rushing but what can you do to stop this?  The single thing that made me realise that I needed to stop rushing was when I was taking my little boy to bed, as I do most nights, and he was doing what most 5 year olds do and that was mess about.  Now Tom has not had a really normal bedtime routine since he was two before his little brother was born.  This is because little Danny was born with problems which meant we have spent the last 2 1/2 years in hospital see www.potter-tate.co.uk for more info.  Anyway, it was around 8pm and he was messing and rushing as usual I said to him “come on Tom, I’ve got work to do if you don’t stop messing then no story”.  It wasn’t till I got downstairs and sat down at my computer that in dawned on me that in actual fact what I was rushing down to do was neither that important or in fact a “real” job that needed doing.

So I am resolved that while I cannot slow down the work pace while doing on-demand work what I can do is slow down outside of work. I am also resolved to doing things different to the way I have before.  So earlier today I decided to walk to our local shop, something which I have NEVER done in the whole time that we have lived at this house which is almost 7 years.  The local shop is only about 3/4 mile away and while I going running three times a week and pass it then I have never walked to the shop.  You should try it sometime, it’s a surefire way to completely spin out your partner/wife.  I said to Julie “I think I’ll walk to the shop”, you should have seen the look on her face.  It couldn’t have been more stunned if I had said that I was catching a flight to the other side of the world!  So leaving behind a rather confused Julie I walked to the shops, the thing was I ended up looking round with almost schoolboy fascination at houses that I had seen before but never really looked at.

So if you are looking for a New Years Resolution try this, “Do something once a week different to the way you have always done it”.

New year, new start

For those who have followed this blog in the past you will know and see that I have been very quite since summer.  The reasons for this are many but most of them are due to personal circumstances which have knocked my life completely off kilter and have no only taken a lot of physical time but it has also significantly hurt my drive on a day to day basis.  This in itself is a self perpetuating downward spiral in which you don’t do certain takes or maintain aspects of your life because you haven’t got the “get up and go” to do it but then you end up resenting, even hating yourself for no doing it.  Then as time goes by you end up putting things off repeatedly until finally they are way overdue and almost impossible to recover from.  Why am I laying this on the line and telling you?  Quite simply I have been there and have now vowed to turn things around, it is a hard thing to admit that things have gotten out of control but it is much harder, in my opinion, to recover from.

With that in mind I want to commit, publicly, to maintaining at least two posts a week here whether it tech news, geek stuff or just how things are going.  2009 is a new year and while this is not a new year resolution, it is a life resolution, I just thought that it was a damn good time to start…leave behind the old and move forward.

So let me start by saying happy new year to you, all the success for the future and remember if you want to contact me please use the form above.

Regards

Rob.